Imposter Syndrome has me F*cked Up!
I’m no longer allowing Imposter Syndrome to hold me back with my mediumship.
To be real I’ve been I have been sitting with this for too long…. I’ve been hiding a while, hiding behind virtual events for mediumship because of imposter syndrome. It’s not that virtual events don’t work rather than I feel like it’s a form of shielding, hiding a part of myself out of fear that I’ll fuck up and not be able to deliver. That’s performative. Anxiety reminds me of the last group event I held where the first message was great, and I struggled through the rest. That was not only embarrassing, but it made me question my ability.
Note that this isn’t form of criticism of practitioners who work virtually, because I also work virtually. I just need to show up in a more meaningful way and truly connect with my community in a tangible way.
Facing my Fear Head On
This isn’t a post about my embarrassment, I mean, part of it is, but the majority is a testament to show up for yourself despite what Anxiety/Fear is saying to you. Being behind a screen for mediumship feels safe for me because of the distance between myself and the sitter. I can still feel the tenseness in the body when a nervous sitter enters the meeting room and I can see tears that well up when evidence is given that creates that connection, I’m striving to bring into the space, but it’s still different remotely.
Working in a group in person invites a realness that virtual events can’t. It’s an experience of trusting in Spirit whole-souly and being grounded enough not to be directly impacted by the sense of visible emotions in someone I could tap on the shoulder. That’s an intimacy that can be difficult to face head on if I’m stuck in my mind afraid of what wrong could happen while channeling. My issue is that I’m afraid of causing harm because that’s the worst-case scenario yet evidence has shown that I can deliver powerful and healing experiences through Spirit from previous in person events.
I remember the first time I was invited to come to a home and offer a “platform demonstration of mediumship” to a group of ten individuals from a previous client and was almost deathly afraid to even show up. I asked a male cousin of mine to accompany me because, I didn’t know these people, and that was his first or maybe second time witnessing me demonstrate mediumship. Guess what, I did a phenomenal job, so why wouldn’t I do another phenomenal job again?
If you’re struggling with showing up for yourself and doing THE THING… allow this post to be your evidence that you too can do it. Show up for yourself, especially if you work with Spirit, especially if what you want to do will bring something amazing to the collective.
Intimate as a Rebellion
Let’s talk about the pressure in the spiritual business culture that focuses on scaling, reach, and attracting the largest possible audience for any given offering… the fact of the matter is that virtual formats are the primary mechanism for achieving that scale, because virtual removes the geographic constraints and the logistical limitations that in-person work requires, and more people in more places can access what I offer.
I understand that pressure and I obviously have felt it, which has created a freezing factor which has hindered my growth and Healing with Amber’s growth, specifically pertaining to my mediumship work. Choosing an intimate and in-person event is, in the current spiritual business landscape is a mild form of rebellion because it refuses the logic that bigger and more accessible is always better and instead insists that some forms of healing require physical presence. A smaller number of attendees and a room that is sized to the depth of what is being held rather than for the scale of whom can attend hits harder than the quantity attendees who attend the event. Intimate is just that, intimate, and that’s what I’m offering in rebellion to Imposter Syndrome.
The only event I’m interested in creating isn’t the one that reaches the most folks but the one that actually reaches the people who are present and who are sharing the experience of witnessing and being witnessed by people who are physically present with you in the same sacred space.
What to Expect on August 15th, 2026
This Saturday August 15th from 6 to 7:30pm in Auburn, California, I’m holding An Intimate Evening with Spirit in-person mediumship event and I want to tell you exactly what that means before you decide whether to come.
The group will be small by intention, because small is what allows the work to go to the depth it is capable of going, and because the intimacy of a small room is itself part of the healing, not a logistical constraint but a deliberate choice about what kind of space this is.
The tone will be warm and grounded and unhurried, because mediumship at its best isn’t a performance. It’s a genuine attempt at communication across time and space that requires presence, patience, and the quality of attention that comes when a group of people have gathered with shared intention and are willing to be fully there for the full length of what the evening holds.
Not everyone will receive an individual message, because that’s the truth of how this work operates. Spirit isn’t a request service with guaranteed delivery, but everyone in the room will witness Spirit and it’s very possible that everyone could receive an indirect message because Spirit works in mysterious ways.
I just ask that all attendees arrive with openness rather than expectation, presence rather than an agenda, and willingness to allow the evening to be what it is rather than what any individual hoped it would be.
Come Be in the Room
This evening is for the woman who has been curious about mediumship and has not yet had an in-person experience, for the woman who has had readings before and knows she wants to be in a room rather than behind a screen, and for the woman who is simply drawn toward gathering with other women in sacred space and trusting what arrives when we do.
An Intimate Evening with Spirit
This Saturday, August 15th,
6 to 7:30pm,
Auburn, California.
Space is limited and intentionally so, and registration is required because the size of the group is part of what makes the work what it is, and once the room is full it is full.
🌿 The Grief Sanctuary Membership is for women who want ongoing community and monthly practices between in-person gatherings, because the connection that begins in a room like this one deserves a container to continue inside.
[Join the Grief Sanctuary Here]
With care and intention,
Amber Choisella
